Story of Jenny
In a far off land, where the men were men and the women were too, lived the manliest man of all. Her name was Jenny. Said Jenny one day, “I must walk my fish before it gets cold.” And so she did. With leash, and whip, and fruit in hand, she set off with her fish only to find it shriveled up from some corrupt form of delinquent virus named Fred, and she decided to walk him instead. With Fred on the leash, she set the fruit in her hair and walked on a tightrope to the end of the street. The virus mutated into something like a man, and he and Jenny copulated wildly in a field for an hour or two. “My God,” said Jenny, “Just look at the time,” and she began to gyrate madly in a contorted and frantic lambada. “I must get home and water my head, or I’ll never grow any taller.”
With that Jenny ran off, leaving Fred to manifest his own destiny, alone and purple though he was. And how Jenny cried bitter tears for the iron sulfide of decades past, while she sat idly by, stirring her rancid tea.
“Why oh why must captivating landmarks be trifled with?” thought Jenny. “Is there no one out there who can save the red wagon from a life of despair? Woe is me, and woe that I must suffer from the wrongdoing of organic plastic containers. Is there no life after death?”
As Jenny was overwrought with emotion, she found it necessary to step on a small rock that cried out in triumphant glee as her foot descended upon it. What an honor it was to be smashed in such a frivolous manner; the rock was flattered. As it gradually grew flatter under Jenny’s foot, it slid away to play cards with a transparent opponent. Oh, how many things it would have to talk about!
Jenny turned around and smacked the air with her inflatable hand. The air in turn began to laugh as blood poured down its insane face. Eyes raced upwards as Jenny looked down suddenly, leaving them behind. On finding herself without sight, she reached into her pocket and threw the lint away. The pocket, having no other services to provide, flew upward to retrieve the suspended eyes. Instead of returning them, it fled silently away to await the coming dawn with feelings of guilt and rapture.
An aborted seahorse suddenly flipped upside down and provided a cane for the sightless Jenny, who collapsed in anguish. Two men and a duck happened by just then, laughing and pointing at Jenny’s prone body. They violated her with blunt tools and spread Crisco on her naked flesh.
Covered in feathers from the shedding duck, Jenny found it hard to keep from laughing. The men thought her mad and threw small brown lizards at her. She caught one and swallowed it quickly, feeling somehow revived. Spitting twice to her left, she became a noxious fluid and slipped away into something more comfortable.
Having thus become more at home, she found herself actually at home and prepared her dinner with a catatonic snake. Dressed in her best aluminum foil, she sat down to eat, vacuum cleaner in hand. As the dastardly machine roared into life, it sucked her vitality away and ate her red apple. “Damnit,” said Jenny. “Now I shall have to dance alone.” Turning on a silent record, she waltzed to the sound of a vomiting minister delivering the word of God. “Religion,” thought Jenny, “is what leaks from one’s ears like carrots through a sieve. If only God could learn to play a sport, fairness would be determined by the aging slime of great minds long forgotten.”
Thinking in this manner, Jenny lost control and became a pliant door. When she opened, a torrent of dead creatures came pouring forth from her keyhole. An assortment of razor-edged tongues landed and formed a circle around her, laughing and jeering in their taunting voices, “What is your life now, Jenny? And for whom have you played this silent game? Cry no more, and feel nothing but gangrenous consciences gnawing at your shoulder.”
“Yes!” cried Jenny. “Let my telephone be my guide!” So saying, she scrambled madly for a potted plant and made her first call. Uselessly dialing a cow for an hour, Jenny found herself connecting, not with a third party, but with the mammal in question. “My love, don’t ever leave me!” she cried, while Bessy mooed in a corner. A stream of milk leaked slowly from her defiled udder, and formed a shallow pool under an armchair. Putting on a swimsuit, Jenny jumped in and rapidly swam to the other side. She pulled herself up on a grassy bank and fell asleep, while aquamarine tadpoles polluted her flesh with sullen curses.
How long she slept while the sun fell away to be raped by the dark, the same dark that cooled Jenny’s head and forced her to wake when it entered her mouth. And when the night had been blown away, Jenny arose and walked to a roadside motel.
“I’d like a room for the day,” she told the desk clerk, and he led her away. Arriving at a porthole, he opened it for her and Jenny fell through. Furry turtles cushioned her fall as her spine crumpled in fright. She landed in a quivering mass and shook over to the sofa, where willing arms molded her yielding form into something more pleasing.
“Goodness,” said Jenny. “Now I am a man. This won’t do at all!” she exclaimed when her phallus tumbled down and lay coiled on the floor. After gathering up her endowments, Jenny proceeded to the bathroom, where the shower was. “Time for a wash,” she thought, as several men arrived to spit on her intermittently. Minutes later, when the naked Jenny stepped out, sparkling and clean, she saw herself in the hallway mirror, and screamed at what had been revealed. Covering herself with the available dust mice, she scurried away to find something with less teeth for her wardrobe.
Encountering a store on her right foot, she bandaged her ankle and went inside. The voluptuous salesman offered his help in a distastefully innocent way, and Jenny slapped him before making her purchase. Leaving the store with a fat person to hide behind, she sighed with relief and a sense of security. And upon finding a homeless person resting in her ear, she cleaned him out and left him to die on a two-way road. She ignored his happy singing and marched over him in stiletto heels, snapping his neck and collecting his teeth for a pretty charm bracelet. “Homeless people make such nice accessories,” she sighed.
Bounding along happily and nude in a concealing pocket of cellulite, Jenny was hypnotized by the swaying of the fat man’s buttocks. As her eyes glazed over, she pulled a mental flush and swirled away into her unconscious mind. The all-encompassing darkness deepened into a grisly scene of sunshine and love that left Jenny feeling sick. Happy couples bounded across rainbow fields of contentment and babies were well loved and cared for. There was no crime, no rape, no shattered and desperate dreams. There was only bliss. As Jenny came to herself, she found her mouth filled with vomit and smiled gratefully at the world around her, as she ruthlessly strangled Bambi’s mother. “Happiness is a delusion,” she thought, and a gang of crazed evangelists arrived to pull her hair.
When Jenny was bald, the men of God surrounded her fallen hair and set fire to her face. When her flesh slid off, it hardened and became scattered bits of human soul. With her life shattered and spread out before her, she was able to think clearly. She grabbed an orange and began to prostitute her talents while the evangelists ran off, singing the praises of the lord, and tripped on their faith as it stood in their path.
Jenny gathered her hair, her face, and draped her phallus over her shoulders as she began the treacherous climb out of the fat man’s chins. Taking leave of him, Jenny urinated on a bush for future identification and hopped three times to the left, where a taxi cab pulled over. “Driver, can you take me to Hell?” asked Jenny. The driver sucked on a bottle of vinyl cleaner and spit forth a soggy “Yes,” as he pulled away from the past. Jenny shed tears for the man she had left behind and the clothing she had lost. With nothing left to expose but her heart, Jenny resolved to cover herself with barbed wire and masking tape. The sharp points pierced her flesh and anchored themselves in, while Jenny covered her eyes with the tape and fastened them to the back seat of the cab, where she knew they would be safe. A millennium of seconds passed in less than an hour, and Jenny collected her morals from the trunk of the car. Several midget lepers began humping her lower leg, and fell apart when she said a harsh word. A nearby tree shed its bark in anguish and, voiceless, it turned to face the world.
An empty bottle flew past on its way to confusion and greeted Jenny kindly by giving her directions to the nearest pharmacy. Jenny ran there quickly and, stopping suddenly, recalled that she was lost. With no perception of distance and philosophy, she turned in uneven circles of lost hope and smiled widely in her morbid depression. Curling up to sleep in the road, Jenny was hit by a ship and catapulted across land, sea, and sky to where the earth was soft and filled with knives. Landing painfully, she pulled a dagger from her eye and plunged it into her leg. As bloody parasites poured out, they collected enough money to fund an artistic endeavor, and saved the whales as an afterthought.
Out of nowhere, Jenny grabbed a gnarled branch and gave a passing boy a spontaneous abortion. He looked twice at Jenny and fell in love, wildly salivating and convulsing in overwhelming terror. A small dog on its way to a dinner engagement performed a wedding ceremony and Jenny raised a family in an hour. Four rectangular children caught together in a knot of umbilical cords and fell down in a massive heap of pain and afterbirth. Cutting them apart from each other, Jenny left them to die alone. As she wandered off into next week she asked herself, “Why must children die? And why must sullen animals dance in the evenings?” And suddenly, life was well again as Jenny blocked off all thought and feelings for a lost and long-dead ideal of humanity and a spider’s place in a Playboy centerfold.
Sunlight, dancing her vile strip-tease, performed her erotic contortions across the orange sky and worked small forest creatures into an excited frenzy. A neurotic gypsy wandered next door to solicit a cup of sugar and was greeted by a sensuous housewife, clad only in an apron and a smile. Jenny came upon them slowly and asked to join their verbal ballet. Their silent rebuke resounded wildly in her padded mind and she ran off to join a cloister of nuns.
Sister Bruce, taking a stroll in the gardens, paused long enough to smell the roses and molest a dead fly. Jenny waltzed into his frail world and, caught with his habit around his ankles, Sister Bruce dropped his fly and forced a smile. Gazing upon this child of God, he wondered at the miracle of life and gasped in horror as it was revealed to him in full. Casting aside this knowledge, he took Jenny by the arm and guided her to a building of Hell. Violently, he pushed her inside and locked the door with his tears. In the face of such unrelenting pity, Jenny was helpless and alone. As the barren lack of life engulfed her, she was consumed with anguish and cried out bitter words to keep her company. Realizing that she was trapped in nothing, Jenny kept herself from the sharp edge of her bloodthirsty mind by gnawing at her fragile wrist. Blood flew from the open wound and provided her with red-stained visions.
An open doorway appeared, temptingly, in front of her and ran away on spindly legs. When it came around again, Jenny reached for its knob, only to have it wilt in her hand. Though she tried it again and again, she found it harder to grasp a tangible object and sanity began slipping through her fingers. Sobbing and yelling and beating her head against the grey, unyielding wall of her cell, she felt her skull begin to crack under the tremendous pressure. Thick, pussy fluid oozed out of an opening in her left eye and spilled itself onto the floor. The cold cement absorbed the fluid and became obsessed with itself. As it ran off to find a cracked mirror, Jenny plunged through the hole it left behind and landed in a harem of naked, writhing people. She found herself becoming a part of this twisted orgy and realized that struggling was useless. Unexpectedly, a rubber cylinder invaded her throat and she choked when she tried to breathe. Her skin was torn from her body, leaving her with nothing to hide behind. She was terrified. With no friends to help her, and her parents discarded long ago, she was without love. Reaching out with steel claws, she tore her heart out and pressed it in her hands. The pulsing, membranous sack was helpless in her grasp, and she threw it on the floor in disgust. A coupling couple, disregarding its presence, rolled over it and left the bloody pulp to decompose on its own. Having gotten her cheap revenge, Jenny grabbed the nearest man and put him on a pedestal, only to be severely crushed when he fell from his lofty position.
“Are men really useless? Is love a dead ideal? And what am I doing wrong?” she screamed into the ambiguous mass. No answer was forthcoming and she hid herself in a small corner of her mind where no one could find her. No one cared.
Emerging from her haven nine days later, Jenny peered out at the world around her. Massive fires were burning and people were screaming as flame was introduced to flesh. Wondering if this was her destiny, she bravely stepped forward, only to be denied absolution. Provoked by intuition and an unseen cattle prod, she ventured into an alley.
A gorgeous woman, clad only in her sins, stood tall and proud against the hard brick wall. A band of yellow dwarves lifted jagged boulders and heaved them at their beautiful target. As the first missile connected, a sickening crunch pervaded the atmosphere and flooded the world with pain. Cries of “not guilty” ran rampant in the streets as every man, woman, and child took a hypocritical shot at the defenseless woman. One by one, the rocks flew like accusations and pounded her down into death. Jesus freaks gorged themselves on impure blood and sucked an unprotected fetus from her womb. Having feasted on petty misdemeanors, they left to justify their actions. Man and brother fought each other to be the first to confess his sins and receive forgiveness. The hand of God came down and carried them home to their boring, pious lives while Jenny vomited repeatedly in an unseen corner.
Having purged herself satisfactorily, Jenny began to see the lighter side of the matter, and laughter invaded the silent street. Slowly, she approached the battered corpse and gazed at the bloody mess it had become. Prodding it with her foot, she turned it over and stepped on its head. Having thus stamped out her fear in the face of death, she waltzed away with a feeling of accomplishment.
The sun shone down on her and gave her its approval with a wink and a lecherous leer. It propositioned her with false warmth and rays of hope, and she dodged his advances with a cheap bottle of spoiling sunscreen.
All creatures great and small congregated on a soiled park bench and failed to have any pity for her. Feeling very strongly that they resented her presence, Jenny decided to be there twice as much. A man arriving with a dolphin on a leash proceeded to flog it mercilessly. The tortured animal strained to get away, but eventually crumpled in defeat. Approaching Jenny cautiously, he inserted a key in her back and she ran off to cook him dinner in sexy black lingerie. After three days she produced something that looked unlike spaghetti, and the man consumed it through voracious pores in his left hand.
Jenny contorted in wrenching spasms at the thought of domestic life and endless calm. The horror of a new dimension rebounded in the plasticized arena of her soul. It disgusted her with the wandering lustre of an amber figure engulfed in flame, and she collapsed with the weight of her shame. Jenny vowed to change her life and, feeling comforted by the familiar lie, ran off until the sky ended and nothing could be seen but overpowering blackness. In these concealing surroundings, Jenny pulled the blanket in her mind over her head and fell asleep.
Plagued by dreams of hideous beasts with contemptuous, smiling faces, she screamed, and twisted, and woke up feeling paranoid and weak. She climbed her way out of the darkness quickly and uneventfully, until she recognized her own house and entered through a hole under the doormat.
Once in the uncomfortably familiar surroundings, Jenny became herself and threw away the cheerful facade. Thoughts of suicide running through her head, she began to cry silent, self-loathing tears. Her life, a turmoil spinning in front of her eyes, she set up a roadblock and forced the unpleasant thoughts to take a lengthy detour. Sinking bonelessly to the floor, she closed her mind and wrapped herself in an illogical blanket, woven throughout with lies and words of explanation. “I want to die,” she thought, and grinned at her coffee table.
Hours later, Jenny came out of her blanket and began to pace around frantically, screaming wildly at her head to just shut up and leave her alone. Thoughts tumbled over each other and crowded around her frontal lobe, cigarettes in hand, and prepared to settle in for a while. A syringe, well hidden behind her heart, fell out of her mouth and she shot up with a dose of uncut obscurity. She nodded off into oblivion.
A telephone began ringing, and Jenny swam home to answer it. The shrill voice of AT&T ripped through her brain like ice picks driven into defenseless animals. Insane with agony, she managed a gut-wrenching “Hello?” before she realized that several potted plants were desperately in need of a good watering. Responsibility overwhelmed her, and Jenny dropped the phone in the sink and turned on the faucet. Tap water burbled away happily, deep in conversation with the nylon stocking who had called.
Jenny, opening cabinets and drawers at random, finally located a butter knife and began using it to saw away at her wrist. Pieces of skin flaked away and drifted into small piles at her feet. When, at last, blood began to pour out in a thick, red waterfall, Jenny threw the knife away and used self-pity to tape her wound open. She watched the pretty flow of death that smelled like copper, until all she could see was waves of darkness. Jenny sighed happily and shrugged indifferently at her life. Sirens in the distance coming closer, words of sympathy, kindness offered in the monotones of a machine; she ignored it all. Deciding that she didn’t want herself anymore, Jenny offered herself up to the highest bidder and, shutting her body down completely, began to wait.
And no one came.