The Abusive Outcome is Never Good
The reasons why some women seek abusive men will vary. It could be one reason, or a combination of several. Unfortunately, the outcome of these relationships can be disastrous, and will certainly do more harm than good to the self-confidence of women. Those who take the time to understand why they continue to wind up with bad men may be able to finally break the cycle.
One of the top reasons women draw in abusive men is that they see the man as a project of sorts. Women mistakenly assume that they can magically transform a bad man into a good man, a man that is compassionate, honest, and sincere.. The truth is, no matter how much time and effort is invested, there is no way to change the core of a person. They must do this on their own.
Bad men may seem more exciting than a nice guy. This excitement is often enough to draw women in, at which point they may realize that this person is exciting because he is not mentally stable. Even worse, the fun excitement can quickly turn into the unwanted type, which could be verbal, mental, and physical abuse. Women may stay in these situations for the previous reason. They believe that they can change this, and stop it from happening.
Often women wind up with horrible men simply because the man pursued her. Often times, aggressive men are also aggressive in their pursuit of women. This can be quite flattering at first, as everyone wants to be wanted. This is not to say that every man that comes on strong will be an abuser, but this is a red flag that women can watch out for when considering their next relationship.
Note: The choice to include this very graphic video was a simple one. Abuse and violence are not pretty nor can they be sugar coated. This one minute video gets a message across. Warning, Very Graphic Vimeo Video.
The Cycle Continues
One of the saddest reasons why women may seek a horrible man is that they wish to replicate the relationship they had with their father. Women may do this without even realizing it. If the relationship with the father was abusive in any way, women may seek a man that provides this, as it is familiar behavior to them. This may be the hardest pattern to break, as on the surface, no woman realizes that they are actually doing this.
The most common reason is most likely low self-confidence. When self-confidence is low, women may not feel that they are worthy of being loved by a good man, and will automatically seek out men that they feel are on the same level as they are. Positive affirmations and a change in how a woman views herself will go a long way in correcting this behavior.
What is most important is that this cycle is broken as soon as possible. Mental and physical damage can result while in a relationship with a horrible man. The longer this goes on, the harder it can be to recover. Those who find themselves in one bad relationship after another should take the action that is required to break the pattern. There are many self-help books that may be helpful. Therapy is yet another option, as it may help women get to the root cause of why they are allowing these relationships to continue.
“They Seemed So Happy”
Domestic violence or abuse usually happens behind closed doors and friends or family may not even suspect anything is wrong. Please, if you are in an abusive situation just seek out some help and remove yourself from the problem, talk to your friends, family, or counselor. Abuse is not part of life…
Staggering Abuse Statistics
- 1 in 4 women report experiencing domestic violence in their lifetimes.
- 2 million injuries and 1,300 deaths are caused each year as a result of domestic violence.
- All cultural, religious, socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds are affected by domestic violence.
- Nearly 2.2 million people called local and national domestic violence hotlines in 2004.
- More than 1.35 million people accessed domestic violence victim services in 2005.
Excerpt Information from http://www.clicktoempower.org/domestic-violence-facts